Fitting In

 "Don't do things because you think it's what other people want you to do." - Stan Christensen

Have you ever tried to fit in? Have you ever tried to change something about yourself (or your entire self) to fit what you think others want in a friend, significant other, employee, etc? It doesn't work, does it?

It's so obvious when I see it in others, but sometimes I still find myself doing it. I like to pretend that I'm totally secure in myself and don't care what others think as long as I'm nice, but part of me is still that shy little kid who was terrified to do the wrong thing. 

So what happens when we really do "live our truth" and be ourselves? Are we ostracized and mocked? Sometimes. There are people out there who are so extremely insecure about who they are that they can't handle anyone who is different, and especially those who are unapologetically different. Should that stop us? Never. 

Because, the other thing that happens when we let our inner selves shine through is that others are drawn to us. Those who relate to us are grateful to find a kindred spirit with similar interests and ideals, and those who don't necessarily share our pursuits but who are secure in their own tend to enjoy finding others who really know who they are. 

Pretending to be someone you're not is exhausting and soul-killing. Don't do it for anyone or anything. Always be kind, always be considerate and selfless, but don't hide what brings you joy. Always be willing to try new things, whether they seem like something you'd like or not; be open to new experiences and possibilities as long as they are healthy, safe, and aline with your principles. You can even stick with things you don't love doing because they're good for you (I see you, oatmeal), but don't pretend to love something you don't just because it's what you think you're supposed to do. 

This has been really preachy, but I feel strongly about it. I remember having a well-developed vocabulary as a kid and just speaking the way I normally did when some of my friends thought I was trying to show off by using words they didn't understand. It's good to communicate appropriately, but rather than teaching my friends what the occasional word meant I just started dumbing down my speech and eventually lost some of the vocabulary I'd had previously. Don't be like that. Don't be like I was. 

I really didn't change until I found a group of friends who accepted me as I was and called me out on trying to change my personality to fit in. I can't say enough about what that did for me and for my life. Be that friend.